Regression

When Sam first started at Brain Balance,  Erin mentioned that along the way, he will probably regress. Every kid has some kind of break down between Session Nine and Session Fifteen. 

 

Regression? What does that mean? I asked, with trepidation in my voice.

We had one kid who started wetting his bed again after years of dry nights.

OK.

And another boy started having crazy temper tantrums.

And does any one not regress? (Because of course if anyone is going to be the exception, it will be Sam).

Nope. They all pretty much do it. And we think it’s a good thing because usually right after, they leap forward. It’s kind of like their brains use up all the energy to make the big move forward.

OK. That makes sense. I sort of remember when Ben and Sam were babies being told that usually toddlers go backward before there’s a milestone leap. I don’t know that that happened with them but I do remember hearing it. So let’s dig in and prepare for the worst. 

A week later I was sitting with my new best friend Cindy in reception. She had been in the middle of her regression talk with Erin when Sam and I walked in.  She too asked if there were any kids that didn’t regress (I guess we’re all convinced that our kid is the best and the only one that will break the mold!) and Erin had the same answer for her. Cindy and I looked at each other in fear wondering what this meant for our little guys.

Sam just finished Session 20. We should be way past the dreaded regression and Sam hasn’t exhibited behavior that’s set off any alarms. And I’ve been looking for it. In everything he does and says.The only thing that kind of sort of counts is a crying fest he had last week. Maybe that was his regression?

About a year ago, Sam had a real thing about death. He was kind of obsessed with it and his anxiety came out in a variety of ways – all he read were scary books (ie Goosebumps). All he watched were creepy movies. He worried a lot about how it would feel to die and was totally freaked that I would die before him. He fixated on going to a cemetery so we found a really old one a few towns over and did grave rubbings. Ever do those in elementary school? It was kind of creepy but  we were relieved that it was just what he needed to move on and emerge from this dark period . 

Out of nowhere last week Sam came downstairs crying. I had just settled down on the couch. I had my slippers on, a big glass of Crystal Light  in front of me and American Idol had just started. Absolutely the best part of my day and I had been looking forward to it for hours. Of course, right then down the stairs comes crying Sam. Whimpering. Head down. Tears streaming down his cheeks. So, so sad.

What’s up Sammy?

I am scared of dying, mommy.

Oh baby. Don’t cry. Don’t worry about it. You’re not going to die for a really long time. (at this point he crawled into my lap and if he could have crawled back into my belly, he would have).

How do you know?

I don’t really know but you’re healthy. You’re not going to die till you’re really old.

What about you?
I’m healthy too. I won’t die for a while.

Promise? (oh God, I hate this question).

I can’t promise that but I really, really think we both have a while to live.

Alright.

Go on back to bed.

Alright.

Love you.

Love you, too.

If thoughtful and sensitive is all the regression we're getting, I am so fine with that. And back to Ryan Seacrest, I go.