Birthday party

After hosting a huge blowout party in our Park Slope apartment for Benjamin’s first birthday, I swore we would never have another kid party at our house again. That party was ridiculous. We pretty much invited everyone we knew who had a child of any age. So there were a zillion toddlers drooling everywhere while their parents guzzled beers and pretended that the terrible two year old at their feet devouring cat food wasn’t theirs.

Since then we have thrown many large birthday parties for Ben - outside our home. I like selecting the perfect invitations and making Tom come up with catchy poems. Themes are fun to work with and I’ve spent far too many hours shopping online for the ideal favor. We threw Ben’s last big party was when he turned eight – in second grade.  Now that he’s nine, we’ve downsized and he‘s only allowed to invite a few friends to go off and do something fun.

Sam had large parties with great invites and fun birthday cakes for years too. But when we were prepping for his sixth birthday he proclaimed that he was done with large parties. He wanted to have a few boys over to play video games. And that’s it. I tried to talk him out of it. I suggested going to an arcade to play video games. I tried to lure him into having a gymnastics party because he would get to bounce. I offered up a basketball party with his favorite coach. But there was no enticing him. He wanted it small, simple and at home. Nothing about this appealed to me but as you know, saying no to Sam is not easy for me and I gave in. He had five or six boys over and they had a blast. He asked for a repeat the following year.

I assumed we would be doing the same thing for his eighth and final birthday party. But I was wrong. Sam announced that he wanted a Mr. Kae party at the Y. Who’s Mr. Kae, you ask? Only the world’s best PE teacher. The kids at Sam’s school worship him like he’s the kid whisperer. Sam decided to invite his entire class - girls included.

The final countdown commenced a week prior to the party.  Each morning he woke up and announced how many days left till the festivities begun. Throughout the day he emitted little bursts of joy as he realized it was getting closer. I thought I knew Sam but I never could have predicted he would be this excited about anything. 

What usually makes him happy? All he wants to do is stay home. He wants to hang out with us - with no other kids around. And he wants to play video games. A lot of video games. This party included none of these things and he was the happiest I have ever seen him.  Brain Balance doesn’t get credit for his choice of party (since he wasn’t going there then) but I do think it impacted his attitude both in the days leading up to and at the party. It’s truly impossible to discern what Sam would be like today if he wasn’t going to Brain Balance. But the kid I was counting down with each morning was not the kid I was used to.

So, on to the party. It was a hit. He was happy. He participated in every game. He talked to all the kids. He loved being the center of attention.  The other kids had fun too. Mr. Kae was phenomenal. The pizza arrived on time. Sam didn’t seem to notice that he was the only one with a peanut butter sandwich. The guests all devoured the dairy free cupcakes without a complaint. I didn’t get a headache.  A total and complete success.

The old Sam decided to stop by the party for about five minutes. The music was loud and had been for a while. The kids were all running in different directions and the screaming was endless. Sam stood in the center of it all talking to him self. He was spinning and unable to focus. He moved his hands in weird ways and just basically looked lost.  His party was true sensory overload and right then I think he must have hit full and tipped. But just for five minutes. Then he got it under control and sent the old Sam home. The new Sam rejoined the party and was able to jump right back in. He resumed following directions, laughing and connecting with his friends. The party was 90 minutes long. Sam was on for 85 of these. What an amazing and happy birthday.