Re-evaluation

Today Sam and I went to Brain Balance for the second of two re-evaluations. He worked in the sensory gym with Sarah Anne while I sat in reception re-completing the same written evaluations I filled out when we started - The Brown Scale (measures ADD/ADHD), the GARS (an autism rating scale), The Hemispheric Checklist (measures Motor, Cognitive, Sensory, etc), The Sensory Profile and the BER (Behavioral Evaluation Record).

Pre Brain Balance, sadly, my pencil filled in many of the circles all parents want to avoid - the ones that made it obvious that Sam has ADD and PDD-NOS. Thanks for the reminder. Just what I needed.

I had to answer yes to countless questions that had been reworded and re-asked over and over in slightly different ways:

Does my child have a hard time focusing? YES.

Is his handwriting large and messy? YES.

Does he find social situations challenging? YES.

Is it hard for him to sit through meals and homework? YES.

etc, etc, etc. I get it.

And then there were the questions that I proudly responded no to -

Does he eat objects that aren’t food? NO.

Does he repeat certain words over and over? NO.

Does he avoid certain rooms because they smell of cleaner? NO.

etc, etc, etc. Somehow the NOs hurt more than the YESs. But isn’t that always the way?

Fast forward four months into the future to now. And once again, this Brain Balance experience has managed to make me stop in my tracks. There are a few questions that have new and improved answers –

Does your child hate sports? Does Four Square count as a sport? I think it does - NO.

Does your child only choose sedentary activities? NOt anymore. He actually likes to play basketball in our driveway.

Does your child memorize words but has a hard time with reading comprehension? This used to be an issue but NO.

And the new answers go on and on. It's amazing to be able to step back and measure the change; to see the new future that is Sam’s. I forgot how sad Sam was. And what a challenge every new experience was for him. And how hard it was to watch. But now his story is different and we've rewritten the rest of the chapters. Outstanding in every way.

Transformation

Sam had an appointment to see his Occupational Therapist, Jerzie, on Friday. He has been seeing her for years and this has been one of his longest breaks. As we got in the car, Sam asked why we were going back.

 

I thought we were done?

Nope, not done. Just taking a break while you went to Brain Balance,

Oh. Can we be done?

Not yet. You’ve still got some stuff to work on with her. And she misses you. It’s been a long time. I bet she’d really like a hug. What do you think?

I guess. Are we done with Brain Balance?

You have one more evaluation and then we should be done. OK? Do you miss going?

Nope.

I went to school to pick him up and his teacher and I stood talking while he started up a game of Four Square with some older kids. Sam and I were in a rush to make it to his appointment but I couldn’t bring myself to pull him away from the blacktop. He was having so much fun and I loved what I was seeing. Who is this kid? Mrs. Holland and I both wondered as he played by the rules, challenged other kids and seemed so like the other boys.

Within seconds of walking in the doors to Springboard Therapy, Jerzie rushed out to greet Sam. He gave her a huge hug that seemed to just go on and on. It was a long one for anyone; but particularly impressive for Sam who usually gets embarrassed or uncomfortable within seconds of having an embrace inflicted upon him.

Jerzie oohed and aahed at how big he was, how much she missed him and how great a hug that was (and gleefully whispered “I think that’s the first hug Sam has ever started with me”). Sam remembered exactly where to put his shoes and headed back. I settled in to the comfy and oh so familiar waiting room chair and picked up my book (Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman - a memoir about the Satmar sect of Hasidic Judaism. Not my usual trade fiction but really interesting).

A few very slow, unfocused pages later, I closed it and acknowledged that I was too intent upon trying to hear their session; I couldn’t read. He was talking a lot. He sounded so excited. And so did she. Sam found a ball and taught her how to play Four Square. He patiently explained the rules. They laughed together. Jerzie started to figure out the game and he praised her. She made a mistake and he encouraged her. I couldn’t stop smiling.

At the end of the session she looked as happy as I felt and told Sam she’d see him next week. He smiled as he nodded and we exited. I followed up with an email later that day. How’d he do? I asked.

Amazing. He was happier than I’ve ever seen him. He was more accepting of a challenge without shutting down. His usual anxiety of heights was better, although still present. He displayed improved eye hand coordination and had more interest in balls than before. He took on a leader role – teaching me games and giving me parameters to follow. He was more open to new things and showed improved reflex integration but still a bit to go in this area. My favorite part was when I asked him to choose a leaf from the Brain Gym flower (hangs on the wall in the sensory gym – she asks each kid to pick a leaf when they walk in and it becomes the theme of the session) he chose "transformation".

Transformation. What a great word. So fitting. And the best part is that he picked it himself.