Forgetful

Monday was a crazy day.  I knew it was going to be an off one when I noticed Sam’s Ritalin on his place mat. It was just where I left it for him at breakfast. And he was already gone for school. The last time he forgot to take it (months ago), his teacher noticed and I wondered what would happen today.

Before I get into the story, let me introduce you to Sam’s teacher. He has an IEP so is in the inclusion class which has two teachers – one is general ed and the other is special ed. Luckily, they’re both great. His special ed teacher, Mrs. Holland, was also his teacher in Kindergarten and she is one of the best things that has happened to us. She goes above and beyond in every way that you hope a teacher will for your child. Because she knows and understands him so well, she gets the most out of him and they connect in a unique way which enables him to come home understanding the day’s lessons better than he would with any one else.

So on that day a few months ago, Mrs. Holland didn’t know why he was so off. I went to pick up and asked how it went. She laughed and said it wasn’t one of his best. When I told her he had skipped his Ritalin she admitted that she had never been sure about medications for kids but now that she saw the impact on Sam’s behavior, she acknowledged that some kids really do need it.

So here we were a few months later, on week six of Brain Balance and he forgot it again. I emailed Mrs. Holland at the end of the day to tell her he missed his pill and to ask how it went. She emailed me back immediately (of course!) and said she was so relieved to hear that that’s what it was. She has been reading this blog and has been loving what she’s been seeing in the classroom – until today. He has no learning issues so her role with him has always been to get and keep him on track. His mind and body wander all over the classroom and he needs her to bring him back to his desk – both literally and figuratively. For the past couple of weeks, he’s been following along without her usual prompting. He’s been getting the books out for the next lesson without a reminder from her. So when he came in on Monday with a serious case of the wiggles and jiggles, she got a little nervous. He couldn’t sit still. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t transition well. And when she challenged him to see if he could sustain his new found independent behavior, he couldn’t. She couldn’t believe the Brain Balance magic was wearing off and didn't know how to tell me so hearing that he skipped the Ritalin was a relief.

I am not anti medication for kids. I am a firm believer that many issues can be solved, or at least improved, through medication. And if there’s a pill to make life easier for Sam, he will take it until he doesn’t need it anymore. There are some Brain Balance parents whose primary focus is to get their kids better enough to wean them off their meds. Sure, I would love it if Sam's ADD went away he no longer needed Ritalin. But getting him off the drugs is not that important to me so this reminder that he still needs it, didn’t crush me. I will probably try one more experiment like this one before the end of the school year (be warned, Mrs. Holland!) to see how he does while he has a teacher that knows him so well. Maybe in another month or two he will do better without it. If not, I am more than fine with the new and improved Sam who can handle the school day better than before – even if it is with the support of that little yellow pill.

New friends

There is a boy named Henry who is on a similar Brain Balance schedule as Sam. Since we're there at the same time, I sit with his mom, Cindy, a lot in reception and Henry and Sam often overlap in the back. Cindy is super friendly and enthusiastic and I really enjoy talking with her about our childrens' progress and their challenges.  It’s not too often that I find a mom of a kid with issues that’s willing to open up. But in this environment, where all of our kids have something going on, it feels safe and most of the moms are willing to share stories and support. Coming here has become a nice outlet for me too.

Every time Cindy sees Sam she greets him with a big smile and a boisterous hello.  At first he was surprised and a little unsure about why she was being so nice to him but now he likes Cindy’s attention and since Henry is 12 or 13, Sam is impressed by every move he makes.

Rather than spreading his stars out along all the hallway walls, Henry has taken over one wall and created a star rainbow. It's an eye catching pattern in a sea of unorganized, multi colored stars. On the way out last time Sam added two of his stars to Henry's. He told Cindy and she warned him that Henry might not like it and Sam said he'd understand if it had to be moved. But he also reminded us that Henry is his good friend so he'd probably be ok with it.

The next day my cell rang.

It's Betsy.

Hi. What's up? (There's no missing the panic in my voice. Why is she calling me? Has Sam flunked out?)

I have a really important question.

Yes? (Panic rising)

So you know Henry's rainbow wall? I know Sam wanted to add to it.  Cindy found all his stars and made Sam his own wall right next to Henry's. And I'm wondering if Sam will like it or if he'll be upset that she messed with his stars?

I think he'll love it.

Great. Just wanted to make sure. We were debating whether we should deconstruct it.

Nope. Leave it as is.

Excellent.

How nice is she?

On the way to his appointment the next day I told Sam about his new wall and he was excited.

And it’s right next to his wall? (in awe of being so close to the man, the myth, the legend)

Yup.

His mom did that for me?

Yup.

She’s super nice. Why’s she so nice to me?

Because you’re a pretty cool guy and she can tell you’re nice too.

When we walked into the Center the first thing he did was run back to check it out in person. And he couldn’t believe how many stars he had on the wall. These are all mine? he asked.  I guess Henry is on to something. Seeing all the stars in one place gave Sam a little bit of the ego boost he needs. It’s nice to make some new friends.

Feliz cumpleaños

Today is Sam's birthday. He is happier than I've ever seen him. He woke up a few minutes early and came running into our room, with a huge grin from ear to ear, singing happy birthday to himself. He gave me a gigantic hug (bigger than I'm used to) and ran downstairs to open his presents. He asked for a dummy. So that's what he got. When he opened the box and this little boy puppet with a striped shirt just like his popped out he squealed with glee. Nothing beats making your kid buzz with joy. It's contagious and quickly I got into a giddy mood too.

So as good as we've been about cutting back the screen time (and we have been - I swear!) all Sam wants to do to celebrate is go to Funplex. I couldn't hate it there more but it's like heaven on earth to him so we're making a Friday night out of it. Doesn't get any better than that!!

Dinner was my favorite part of the day. We stopped at Don José on the way to Funplex.  While you might think that Mexican would be a minefield of dairy, the corn chips, salsa, chicken fingers (olé) and fries were all ok for him. And they have apple juice. Perfection.

While Sam went to the bathroom, we asked the waitress if the lone mariachi could serenade Sam with happy birthday. Absolutely. What makes it even better?  They have fried bananas that are dairy free. Delicious! The staff surrounded our table and placed a giant purple sombrero on Sam's head of curls. It took him a moment to figure out what everyone was singing and to who. He couldn't believe it was for him and as the song continued his smile grew.  When the song came to an end he blew out his candle and exclaimed - that was unexpected! He actually ate the banana (never would have thought he would) and thanked us for the special birthday. And off we went to a night filled with screens and over stimulation of his poor little lopsided brain.

Progress report

In order to keep parents up to date on their child’s journey, Brain Balance offers two progress report meetings. They take place one-third of the way through the program and then again two-thirds of the way through. 

Sam just finished his fourth week so Monday was our day. I was really excited to hear where and how Sam was improving.  After his initial evaluation (which took a whopping four hours), Tom and I met with Betsy and she walked us through the assessment. There was lots of information and some impressive color graphs that provided new insight into Sam’s weaknesses.  I haven’t really provided much detail on this first meeting so let’s back up -

First they looked at his Primitive Reflexes. These are exhibited by typical babies but disappear as they develop. According to Betsy, Sam’s OT and countless other sources if babies don’t outgrow these reflexes they get stuck. Sam has moved past some but too many of them are lingering.

Next they tested all five senses in every way imaginable and charted out how he did in comparison to a typical eight year old.

Then they measured his level of synchronization on the balance beam, in his gait & aerobics and with the interactive metronome (whatever that means!).

Finally, they looked at the surveys I filled out.

Tom and I walked out of that initial assessment with a solid grasp of Sam's challenge areas and we loved that this learning would be used to create a customized plan for each session.

After this, I had high expectations for his progress report and was sadly disappointed. Rather than talking in the same language as the assessment, the progress report focused on how many levels Sam went up in each area. Of course I love that he’s going up. But I already knew this from the stars he earns every week. It’s not new learning. I want to know how far he is from reaching his goal.

Keep in mind that I love statistics. Shopping around and comparing prices is fun for me. I get all hot and bothered by charts and research. I say this so you take my criticism with a grain of salt. I am a numbers geek and felt completely unsatisfied. Some parents probably glaze over as Betsy walks them through the report. All they want to hear is whether their kid is making progress. And they would love my meeting.

As we looked through the report, I asked a lot of questions; I was trying to uncover the meat I craved but it just wasn’t there. After a while I cut myself off. I needed to go home, read through the original results and compare them to these new ones to see if there was more that I was missing. I couldn’t find it so I emailed Betsy. She is amazing. She really, really wants to make me happy and to provide what I'm asking for. But after a couple of lengthy phone calls, emails and a meeting it’s clear that what I want isn’t available. If it was there, she would have given it to me.

In order to answer my questions they would need to redo the four hour assessment and none of us want that. The levels which are the focus of Sam’s sessions do not correlate with his goals. For some areas he may need to go up three levels to reach goal; for others he may need to go up 12.  

You know I love this program. I think it’s working and my baby boy is already impressively improved. But I wanted to be wowed and to know how far he still has to go and I wasn't. For now I will rely on my gut (which is already having a party) and trust what I feel when I watch him. He's full of smiles. He's chatting. Everyone he comes in contact with notices the change. And that’s all that really matters.